the update

Anyone reading must still have me in their feed and it’s either because they never took the time to delete this very quiet blog or because they never gave up on me, and if that’s the case, thank you!

I owe you an update, although not much has changed since I left off other than our ages (38, 11 and 7) and I’m no longer single. But sharing details of my kids’ personal lives here feels like an invasion of their privacy and sharing details of mine, well, ditto.

In general I have tried to avoid writing/talking publicly about my marriage and post-marriage love life. My ex and I have had an amicable separation and divorce and I didn’t want to spoil that. Also, the immediate aftermath was complicated and I was sad and confused for a year, or three. It was generous of me to spare you the tedium of so much navel gazing and gloom.

Through it all the boys and I were carrying on with school and work and the lifelong project of trying our best to be good people and to live a good life well.

And the years rolled by… it’s been 16 of them since I came to Northern Italy to live. Never have I been in one country so long, and when people here ask me where I’m from I say the name of our town and they laugh. It’s a joke. Ha ha! How can I explain that right now no other place feels like home?

All things considered, we like our life here. Sometimes a familiar restlessness creeps up inside me and that is when I fantasize about a new adventure somewhere else. I entertain the idea of moving to Spain or South America. More realistically, a couple of years ago, I was toying with the idea of spending a year with the boys in the States, but my ex said no. I tried some gentle persuasion, but he would not relent and as positive as I think that experience would have been for us (or would be if he ever changes his mind), I understand his view that it would be unfair. He has made huge sacrifices to remain a crucial part of our children’s lives and to help me raise them. Taking them away would be cruel. So I have decided to stick around a little longer.

My choice became less difficult last year when I fell in love with a wonderful man. What an exhilarating rush that was! A big surprise and so much fun! The first year it was all fireworks and endorphins and crazy lust, and now we are happily discovering that we actually genuinely like each other (and he my children) even without the onslaught of new love hormones.

Things are good. They are so good, in fact, that, except for an occasional bout of adventure-lust temporarily curable with a nice little trip someplace new, I wouldn’t want them any other way.


About Jennifer

I'm a freelance translator and American expat. I live in Northern Italy with my two young sons.
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11 Responses to the update

  1. Suzanne Jennings says:

    So happy to hear life is going well!

  2. Jill says:

    Ciao Jen
    Your blog has been in my Feedly since the beginning. I am always excited to see an update! I’ve been following from years – so to get this lovely update on your life in general made me smile. I started following you because of my love of Italy – having spent a year in Tuscany for a year in 2004. We try and make a trip every year to Italy with our now 10 year old daughter. Your blog keeps me connected to Italy. I have been holding good thoughts for you and your family over the years. Very happy to hear about the new man in your new life! All very good stuff. Thanks for sharing parts of your Italian life with us. – Jill in Seattle

  3. Marge says:

    The return of your blog after that long hiatus made me happy. This update brought a smile, and a few tears of happiness for you. Tanti Auguri

  4. sullimaybe says:

    Feeder is rewarded with your great news! Thanks for sharing.

  5. Hilary says:

    Best update ever! I started following you on your first blog and have in part you to thank if my Italian-American girls speak English without an accent! I remember your stories about insisting on always speaking in English, even at the butcher…I took your words to heart and put them to use in mainly life in Sicily!

    I’m really happy for the happy turn your life has taken and admire your strength and courage. I understand your desire to protect your boys’ privacy as well as your own. So, if you decide to sign off for good, I wish you all the best.

  6. k_sam says:

    Aw yay! This a great update. I’m so, so happy to hear things are going well for you. And I hope this the start of more blog posts to come. 🙂

  7. oldmdgirl says:

    This post made me so happy! I am so glad that you’ve found love again and that your boys are thriving. I do hope you post more, but completely understand the privacy issues. 🙂

  8. Aunt Patti says:

    Never gave up on you! Good to see you blogging again, and glad you’re so happy!

  9. rosemarie says:

    I am so glad that you have started ‘blogging’ again, and am so very happy for you and the great news about your life. Keep smiling and enjoy life. 🙂

  10. rosa says:

    I’m so glad you came back… but please, do not disappear again!

  11. meredith says:

    Bonjour! You aren’t in my feed, but I check here from time to time and what a great surprise today! Glad to read the upbeat update. Bises!

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