the annual pre-thanksgiving woe is me post

A few weeks ago I was at the track and had run three 4000m reps in exactly the times my trainer had advised me, except for the last one, which I had run faster. Every cell in my body was electrified with the thrill of what I had just done, and as I ran a few laps slowly around the track before heading home I let myself bask in the joy of such a very good moment. Part of what made it so good was that it was not the highest of high points because the very best moment was to have come a week and a half later at the end of the race I was training for, when I was to have obliterated my previous personal record.

Oooh, when I write that, the thrill comes back again.

Unfortunately, a few days after what effectively turned out to be the high point of my training, the various parts of connective tissue in my foot and ankle revolted. The rebellion worsened as the days progressed until race day when I withdrew. Clearly not pounding the pavement for approximately 1 hour and thirty something minutes with a foot that hurt after two Advil and only half a mile of warm-up running was the only intelligent choice I could have made, blah blah blah, but it still sucked.

On the positive side, I now have a better idea of what I am capable of if only my tendons will cooperate, and just the thought of it gives me a little thrill.

So I have not been running, which weighs on my spirits, and makes everything seem so much worse than it actually is. If only I could just go outside and pound the damn pavement for an hour and a half! I know that by the time I came back I would have perspective, nothing would seem so bad. Or I would be too tired to care.

As I get more and more desperate for my fix, I begin to think about quitting the racing and just running to run, the way I used to, when I never had injuries from pushing it to the limit and over to the other side. I go back and forth weighing the pros and cons in my head, not that I have to decide right this very minute, but what else am I going to obsess over if not running since I can’t run? It’s the “A Clockwork Orange” conundrum – the one I still haven’t made up my mind about – is life life without the thrill? I would miss it, I would miss it so much, but at least I would be able to run when things get rough, when it gets to be this time of year with Thanksgiving around the corner and all my family on the other side of the world, then my cat dies, and then my ex-husband, upon finishing the dinner I have cooked and served him, informs me that he would like to change the terms of our divorce and I should expect to hear from his attorney sometime soon.

Damn tendons.

Advertisements

About Jennifer

I'm a freelance translator and American expat. I live in Northern Italy with my two young sons.
This entry was posted in Lou, nostalgia, running. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to the annual pre-thanksgiving woe is me post

  1. I Say Oui says:

    Oh man. Feeling for you over here!

    Congrats on your running achievement though!

  2. Gil says:

    Feeling so bad about the way you have been treated during what is supposed to be a festive time of the year. You have already proved that you are a very strong person an I’m sure you’ll come out on top again. Congratulations on your running.

  3. omdg says:

    WTF??? What a jerk. I hope your foot feels better soon.

  4. Sara says:

    I was going to suggest that you take up cycling, but trying to get the same level of workout (in the same time span) on a bicycle out on the road/trail is difficult. Have you ever tried spin class?…

    • Jennifer says:

      Hi Sara, Thanks! I have tried spinning. I have a road bike, and I prefer to be outside on that than inside in a gym, but I rarely use it 😦

      Running is sort of my go to cure for everything.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s